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Joe Gilgallon

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(2 Abandoned all hope | Any Last Words)

Tribulations of the Fall... [26 Oct 2004|02:54am]
so i have been writing a lot more then usual latelly.. working on the movie and its soundtrack.. as well as some other stuff that comes to me.. I've also been spending a lot of time with friends.. maybe too much.. not that i don't love them but i need to do work and i spend to much time doing other things..

tribulations of the fall

The words that were spoken are monotonous and old.. Each day slips further into a cleder darker place. Fleeting thoughts of summer sun and tattered seep in filling the void left by a broken heart.. There is sound in silence, echoes of things remembered and cries for help from within The lonesome road is traveled by many yet, our paths never seem to cross. Within us all ther is a lnging, but for what? is it love, we seek, companionship, attention or perhaps solitude. The leaves are no longer green, some yellow and red, other lie dead on the ground. Am I destined to be another casualty. In every tragic hero there lies a tragic flaw does it not? How long can one man run from what he wants. deny what he desires, hold himself back from who he knows himself to me. The world always seems to lead you up the highest mountains before dropping you in the deepest valley. And it is there where they lave you to fend for yourself and clmb out. only the walls are smooth anc verticle. I long for freedom while my heart lies in pieces on mu sleeve. walking the lonesome road in seek of a smiling face that can revive dead dreams, dashed hopes and awaken me from the times where sleep is the the only option to make it all go aaway. and walk hand in hand into the sunset..

so thats from sunday morning at like 4 and that is the end..

(5 Abandoned all hope | Any Last Words)

[20 Oct 2004|07:57pm]
I just don't understand things some times.. Why do i have to see friends in pain around me and why do i hurt more for them then i do for myself.. that bothers me that i worry more about my friends well being as opposed to mine.. Im not ok.. i know im not.. im in a hole.. a rut hell im probably pretty close to the bottom of the barrel right now.. Im not made for connecticut anymore.. but at the same time i love it here. i love all my friends with all my heart.. but i wonder often if thats what brings me down. I wish i could tell you all how much you mean but there aren't words to describe it.. well i have other stuff to do.. i will post again later maybe to tell you all of the works events

(4 Abandoned all hope | Any Last Words)

oh so much to ponder [05 Oct 2004|12:22am]
[ mood | listless ]

so im in college, and honesly i know nothing.. I seem to hold myself back in so many ways.. it is rather annoying to deal with yourself putting pressure on you when you already have to worry about college, parents and friends.. its so hard to show pain.. i don't want to burden anyone with my problems because they seem to me so 80's made for tv movie.. i guess i've the main thing i've been doing besides sitting outside for hours at a time is writing alot.. working on my movie and some other things here and there. i found a possible drummer and base player to start a band with so that would be really cool. I quit pac sun. i finish in 2 weeks and then i start at greenwich coffee.. better pay cooler job and what not.. well thats it.. im gonna leave ya'll with this.

LIke a rose in November, I am wilting. Petals of my being falling upon the ground. Untill not even my thorns prevail. Like a tree in January I am bare, open to the world and ashamed of who i am. I remain standing when all i am lies at my feet buried in the pure snow. Is it clean enough to cleanse me of all my failures? Like a daffodil in spring i long to be reborn, given another year to flourish and become part of this world. The rain tries to choke me, trees steal my sunlight and weeds my nutrients. Never a downhill battle always rising struggling to stand out above all these forces that would love to see me perish. Many fears keep me back from full potential, if I grow will i be picked only to die shortly after? Unable to achieve greatness due to the fear of individuality and being alone. So willing to help those around but unwilling to be helped. Like an evergreen in the summer I remain the same as i was months before. Never able to change, only grown higher, further from the soil from the soil that grounds me. Longing to be cut down, for I have remain the same for too long..

(4 Abandoned all hope | Any Last Words)

The question is...... [02 Apr 2004|01:22am]
[ mood | crappy ]

What is it that im clinging to, a broken emotion, a daydream? Why i held on this long i don't know.. Maybe we are supposed to be, but what if we aren't could i handle that? Giving up seems to be the way out of this. But what was ever gained without out risk. Those who go far step away from that which surround them and literally go the extra mile. Some say i deserve her, others say i can do better. What if i don't, what if i don't want to do better and she is what i really want in life. im feeling worn... like old faded jeans that have been washed a few too many times.. pretty soon i will be thrown away.. Or will you continue to wear me.. can you just get rid of me after all we have been through. Lifes only begun but i know it will be over once we are together.. Blinded by emotion and your smile. Captivated with who you are and everything you do.. Step away from the world with me and see the view i get whenever your around. Then you would know what life is all about. It's this world which causes all these feelings of insecurity and confusion. Just close your eyes and you can make them all go away.. but you must be willing to let them go.. so i;ll be waiting just out of orbit for you.. where we can be truly be free and live with out restriction...


umm thats it i guess. im wearing thin guys hmmmmm... i'll hold out for all you've got.......

(1 Abandoned all hope | Any Last Words)

[01 Apr 2004|08:33pm]
What is your emo band name? by spiralinghalo
Your band name is:Scatter My Heartbeat
You sound like:Armor for Sleep
You will be signed to:Dreamworks Records
Your emo lyrics are:"Stop wasting my minutes because I don't want to call you anymore"
Name:
Created with quill18's MemeGen 3.0!

(6 Abandoned all hope | Any Last Words)

so long i've come and so far i will go..... with you help [30 Mar 2004|12:32am]
[ mood | listless ]

to let you down would be to fail myself, perfection i'd like to give you
but in human terms perfection doesn't exist.. i've given much thought
to all these choice and dreams, your words of hope defeat your insecurities
I could look into your eyes and see the future, see us happily together
but now all i see is despair.. for i know i have caused much pain on
both sides. it seems as though we will never win, the odds stacked
against us to role a 7 but i am only holding one die.. i don't see this
as a game of chance but a pursuit of happiness a decision i made
long ago too be true to all that i have led me to the cliff. and there i
will stand untill the day of realization comes. when you look in my eyes
and see the future i saw not long ago. It may seem farfetched but in
reality we are only a stones throw away. the day is coming when i
will fall. the last question is will it be into your arms or flat on my face.
this question is not meant to add a burden to you back. but to show
you i care. im sorry we never talk. but this is the place where i can
show you how much you mean to me.

yeah i know im emo. but if you knew her you'd be too:)

(7 Abandoned all hope | Any Last Words)

These words are all i have to hide behind... [18 Mar 2004|10:51pm]
[ mood | blah ]

So remembered today i have my own livejournal. LIfes been kinda all over these past few weeks. Um school is going great. I really think im doing good this time. ha.. Went to kirstens semi formal last weekend. It was fun but wished it was someone elses head on my shoulder. :( yeah so Things are once again up in the air. but anywho.

Motion city soundtrack is playing the webster April 23 and rumor is that armor for sleep will be here twice next month. sweet deal man.

Been playing a ton of guitar today. came up with a riff on sunday i have been working with all week and got teh rest of the song for it i think. just need to write my lyrics which always seem to be lame in my opinion..

Music really all i wanna do in life. that and get married and have afamily.

did you know it takes 90 balloons to make a chicken fly straight up in the air. sorry watching crappy tv..
SO anywho Im happy i guess but still missing that one thing(or person) anywho midterms are over and tomorrow i head home for the week. im stoked goodtimes with steve and Myk (my hetero sexual lifemate ahead// get to move back to my second home
looking into doing some kind of new hair style any suggestions im open. .

Tv is so horrible these day
I just saw a one legged man kicking a soccer ball at a goalie who had only one arm
sadly the one legged man wonok well i guesss i have rambled on long enough and besides old lady wheel chair chicked.

(1 Abandoned all hope | Any Last Words)

ROLL OUT>>>> [07 Mar 2004|01:42pm]
Get to know the REAL you by crash_and_burn
Your Name
You Are A:Poet
Your Favorite Band/SongLudacris - Rollout
You Like To Read:Fiction novels
You Firmly Believe In:Free love
Everyone Thinks You Are:A respectable person
You Were Conceived:52nd Street, New York City
You Will Marry:No-one
Created with quill18's MemeGen 3.0!

(Any Last Words)

STOLEN FROM MEL C BUT OH SO FREAKIN TRUE [28 Feb 2004|11:07pm]
"So I can't see why I feel so lonely, when you and me could be forever perfectly perfect together. I know..."


This is for you... its time for this to end... one way or the other.. i feel as though it must die here.....

(1 Abandoned all hope | Any Last Words)

It's me [27 Feb 2004|01:01am]
Watch me point to the sky
you'll laugh and say I'll never fly
I'll smile as you walk away
I always knew I couldn't stay.
full throttle now
the milky way can't wait
full throttle now
the milky way can't wait
diners have turned
into space ports
and I rocket past the moon
say your goodbyes now
I'll be in the wormhole soon

this planet wasn't made for me
all of you live so easy
I lay outside and up I stare
my home is in the void up there
full throttle now
the milky way can't wait
full throttle now
the milky way can't wait
diners have turned
into space ports
and I rocket past the moon
say your goodbyes now
I'll be in the wormhole soon

approach light speed
and break apart
I don't care now
nothings real somehow
approach light speed
and break apart
I don't care now
nothings real somehow
time has turned
into space ports
and I rocket past the moon
say your goodbyes now
I'll be in the wormhole soon
diners have turned
into space ports
and I rocket past the moon
say your goodbyes now
I'll be in the wormhole soon

(Any Last Words)

Maaybe [21 Feb 2004|04:28pm]




I'm exceptionally artistic!

Find your soul type
at kelly.moranweb.com.

'


and

Pill Taking Conor
you're sad, depressed, pill taking conor. poor you.
you should cheer up, you're so special and we
all really really love you.


which conor oberst are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

(3 Abandoned all hope | Any Last Words)

So i says to mable.... Baby its time to say goodbye......:( [21 Feb 2004|01:31am]
The party started around 9 but for me it was already over when i got there. the room was full of people whose friendships were as trustworthy as a razor blade dancing upon the skin of my wrist.. I watched as everyone one in the room slowly seemed to waste away in an intoxicated pool of defeat.. Oh how i longed to join them.. I stayed near the edge of the room watching as people began to fade.. Maybe i am a wall flower but i never really did feel like i belonged with them.. or her for that matter. She had entered the party with a smile on her face now she grimaced as a sickly look came over her face... she had her share for the night. the bottles were almost empty and they passed around another round. This time instead of taking her shot she passed it to me.. I froze as the cool glass numbed my skin. i knew the contents could numb my heart and mind but at what cost and would i awake to find the pain resuerrected? I stared into the bottle watching as the liquid swirled around.. seems as though it called to me. three quarters of the way full more then enough to kill the memories of the nights when i saw in your eyes something i wanted to hold onto forever.. He tilted the bottle and lifted it high.. her eyes shot daggers at him.. he closed his eyes and took a breath the lip of the bottle inches from his lips he could smell the stench of a million dying memories... With a quick motion he opened his eyes stared back at her and in one shot broke the bottle against the wall killing the habit contained with in. He whipsered goodbye and walked out the door. No one followed him, no one cared for him as it were. All they wanted was to wake up with disfigured memories about what happened and how it was the best time of their life although everything about the nights events were unclear. I left praying that i would wake up as some one else. with knowledge of a life of abuse and where it leads.. Better yet maybe this time he wouldn't wake at all so this trecherous world we live in would never again corrupt his heart.. the air was cool as he reached the street. his heart in pieces but he now had the thread to fix what was for so long broken...

this has nothing to do with anyone. IN NO WAY DO ANY EVENT HAVE ANYTHING TO DO WITH EVENTS OF REALITY.. SLIGHT INFLUENCE FROM OBSERVING THINGS THAT IS ALL. ALSO I AM NOT GOING TO HURT MYSELF LIKE SOME PEOPLE THINK I AM.. NOR AM I GAY.

(Any Last Words)

Just when I thougtht this had no control over me. [20 Feb 2004|03:27am]
I kinda have neglected this thing the last few weeks. Not much has changed no good shows. made new friends erica and justin and nate. I'm watching the big green right now. Iused to have control for about a week but once again i have elt things get the better of me and now Im in the plave i hate... so goodnight

(4 Abandoned all hope | Any Last Words)

Tonights adventure.... FINDING EMO.. [04 Feb 2004|12:38am]
Yeah so tonight was the armor for sleep show. The reason i named this adventure finding emo is cause we got lost and had to find our way to the show.. not fun...

WE get there and the modern day saints were on.. PRetty good. I thoroughly enjoyed them.. danced it up a bit.. split my pants again.. But decent talked to them for a few after

The Format played next.. really good music just a dull show.. kinda bored cause i wanted to dance..

FInally ARmor for freakin sleep.. SO bomb it was disgusting.. such an amazing set.. opening with wanderers guild right into all warm.. so excited was singing along going nuits like a fool.. they played dream to make believe at the end... oh god i went nuts.. some kid made me want to fight him.. didn't though just got with the music and had goodtimes

Mel^2 came and they drove.. thanks so much mels.. k im out like a trout

(1 Abandoned all hope | Any Last Words)

and the day will come... [01 Feb 2004|12:28am]
when everything changes..
do not despair for many will be there through these hard times they said..
Maybe for you this will be true..

The day will come they said..
when you world crashes and you are born again..
its then that you begin to live for the first time.

The day will come....
But no one prepared you for what comes next..
Like an infant it does not yet walk on its own..

The day has come...
for me to stop sitting around..
take action and find truth..

The day has past...
knowledge has escaped me once more..
death hides waiting outside my door..

the day will come...
when you too fall apart...
but you will have support of those who care...


Be true to yourself.. not opinions.. follow what has become completely clear to you and not what you feel in the heat of the moment..
Remember if no one else man im here for you... you've been overly good to me... if anything do the one thing i can't... make yourself happy.. cause no matter what we are all we have for ourselves...

(3 Abandoned all hope | Any Last Words)

Freaknig brilliant. [29 Jan 2004|04:48pm]
Love seeketh not Itself to please,
Nor for Itself hath any care;
but for another gives its ease,
And builds a Heaven in Hells despair.

So sang a little Clod of Clay,
Trodden with the cattles feet;
But a Pebble of the brook,
Warbled out these metres meet.

Love seeketh only Self to please,
To bind another to Its delight;
Joys in anothers loss of ease,
And Builds a Hell in Heavens despite

WIlliam Blake's
"The Clod and the Pebble"
from "Songs Of Experience"

this man is afreakinmazing

(4 Abandoned all hope | Any Last Words)

you think you know whats going on.. [28 Jan 2004|04:58pm]
so i've decided a new rule for me..

Just stop caring... cause seriously, try fail find a new start again..

stick that in your pipe and smoke it

(3 Abandoned all hope | Any Last Words)

Maybe this time you need to watch you back..... [27 Jan 2004|10:27am]
somethings i guess will never change. i arrived back at school on sunday and after brief greetings and hellos and whatnot... nothings changed... we all went right back to doing what we did last semester like we never left.. haven't decided if thats good or bad... It's so great to see everyone.. Um last night i completed either dead or dying volume 2... (The thought that ends it all) so thats the skinny there. I'm slowly regaining my mind i think... Sorry myk to let you down. no fight club here.. only pirates...

Stuff is suddenly very confusingly messed up and trying to resolve it doesn't seem to work. Maybe this time i'll let life run its course. IM here for the ride lets see where it takes me....

grrrrr im a turtle..

(1 Abandoned all hope | Any Last Words)

attn: anonymous [19 Jan 2004|01:10pm]
well now you can no longer post without creating an account.. so they are free make one and speak your mind.. stop hiding behind the internet... ok.. have a nice day.

I have disabled anon.. posting.. so to all my friends your good

soon this may have to become a friends only journal..

(1 Abandoned all hope | Any Last Words)

Forget my name.... [19 Jan 2004|01:40am]
The Ground Folds....
Just throw it back, for one more night
On a starlit and moon-struck night.
The ground did fold and eat us both
But all my love, I did devote.

Beneath the rafters the angels sing
Spinning violence and playing with my heart.

The song I wrote, for you to see.
And my heart it now breaks and the blood spilled down your spine.

Lost inside another crash
The bones I had, turned into ash.
The world did cry, the night you died
And I am no good at suicide.

Beneath the rafters the angels sing
Spinning violence and playing with my heart.

The song I wrote, for you to see.
And my heart it now breaks and the blood spilled down your spine.

And I lost what was mine, and I want what was mine. [x2]

My heart now it always breaks, the blood did drip and I did take,
another wish, another kiss, no more will for me to kill.
We'd run away in our dismay, but please, come back to me.

Bloody romance..

Life, is floating fast away.
But I look, your head is turned away.

From the moment you left I knew that something wasn't right.
But the feeling inside has kept me up all night.

You and me are like one heart-beat.

So slice open my veins.
And let, the romance bleed away.

Back into I thought I knew, these words inside me, tell me what to do.
My heart held, in the palm of your hand.
(Forget my name)Now I know, the way to go, this place inside my demented mind.
(Forget my name)You saw me bleeding on the bathroom floor.
(Forget my name)This time in silence, this time I win.

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